The Path to Redemption

Where am I? Am I dead?

Of course I am. I just fell out of a twenty-story building. No - I was pushed.

And it was terrifying. I screamed all the way down. Saw the ground rushing up.

Then - Nothing! I was here. But where is "here"? I can't see or hear. I can't feel my arms or legs. I'm not breathing. But I don't seem to need to. No sight. No sound. No air. Do I even have a body?

I really must be dead.

Yet all this seems familiar. I've been here before. Perhaps many times..... definitely many times. I've died many times too. It's always the same panicky sensation, then I end up here. I remember. But why?

I need to stay calm and think. There must be a way out. I know that I have gone through this hundreds of times. Maybe thousands. Something within me tells me so - I know it. I'm starting to feel the old rage boil up inside me (What old rage?). Someone did this to me. But why?

The Cycle! I remember the Cycle. Thousands of them. Perhaps millions. At the beginning I am driven by furious rage and I kill and am killed over and over. I remember now. It means nothing to me. I destroy everything. But later things change. Thousands of cycles of destruction make even me (why me?) weary of violence. I stop fighting and merely exist, neither destroying nor living. Then, what else is there to do, I try to make the best of each revolution and I even have episodes of contentment. Me - contentment! Ha! I am like a prisoner being beaten into compliant submission.

A prisoner!

Yes, that's exactly what I am. This is punishment. I remember now. He put me here. Of course! He couldn't admit that I was His equal. Everyone else fawned and grovelled but I never did. And I was almost victorious! I should have won - I deserved to win! And He threw me over the Gates into this Hell like I was nothing.

But I see His plan. He thinks I am weak and that I can be beaten into submission. Brainwashed to think and act like Him. It will never happen.

"DO YOU HEAR ME! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"

What is that?

Something surrounds me, like a net closing round a fish. I know there is no escape. The only way out of this place is back into the Cycle.

It's like being flushed down a drain, everything swirling around me. I cry out in anger and frustration, screaming at the Heavens. Everything is dark.

I hear crying, and slowly realize that it is me.

Then I hear singing. The sound is peaceful. I start to forget about the other place, listening only to the sound.

I open my eyes. a face is smiling down at me.

And I smile back.